The British fondness for animals – and a propensity to spell ‘God’ backwards – will have engendered widespread sympathy for the couple whose dog was electrocuted when it urinated on a faulty lamppost in Dundee.

But, if our office is anything to go by, there are those whose warped sense of humour is tickled by such a tragic scenario. To them, it could have come straight out of the pages of The Beano (which coincidentally is published in that city of ‘jute, jam and journalism’ by DC Thomson).

No, it’s wrong to laugh, as Frankie Howerd used to say.

So, having been inadvertently responsible for the demise of the unfortunate Milou (for that was the dog’s name) Scottish Hydro Electric expressed its no-doubt heartfelt regret for this “very unfortunate and very unusual incident”.

But when the spokesman added: “Our thoughts are with the family of the dog,” did he intend to be taken literally?

Everyone must have their own ‘Desert Island’ book. Mine is a well-thumbed paperback, a 1995 republication of a little book first published in 1940, called Where Are The Customers’ Yachts?

Subtitled A Good Hard Look at Wall Street, it’s a timeless classic and, looking on in awe today at the sub-prime catastrophe, there can have been no time in the last 68 years when has it been more pertinent.

Fred Schwed’s observations on the foolishness, follies and greed of financiers are delivered with a wry and weary smile, born of his experience of the Wall Street Crash and the Great Depression that followed.

And the origin of the intriguing title?


When WATCY was republished during the Bull Market of 1955, Fred Schwed was prompted to “reread my book carefully and gently remold (sic) such opinions as have not entirely withstood the acid test of time”.

At that juncture he couldn’t find a word to change – and I doubt if he could today.

 

Some children think receiving an Asbo is ‘cool’, according to The Daily Telegraph, reporting on the latest study from the Institute for Public Policy Research.

This alarming update on delinquency trends has rather more resonance in our household today after I had to undertake an investigative 15-mile round trip to a local multiplex cinema complex on the edge of Bristol. It’s called The Vue. Some of you may know it.

The previous evening my 15-year-old daughter and some friends were accosted outside the doors of this ‘picture house’ by a group of hooded youths. Demands for “a cigarette” were clearly the prelude to demands for money with menaces ... or worse.

The girls managed to slip through the threatening phalanx but one innocent boy had to seek refuge in a nearby burger outlet until rescued half an hour later.

No adults came to their aid and security staff were conspicuous by their absence. More correctly, they are so conspicuous in their yellow dayglo jackets that miscreants can see them a mile off and take evasive action.

No matter, I thought, as I interrogated the same well-meaning but impotent security staff 24 hours later, there would be CCTV camera footage enabling them to if not identify the would-be muggers by name – the ring leader also had a scarf across his face – but at least to obtain a rough description.

But no, the cameras are only trained on the car park. Is my daughter really worth less to The Vue than a V-reg Ford Fiesta?

Could Egg be setting a trend for other service providers if they really are refusing to deal with ‘sensible’ customers who pay off their cards on time? It certainly raises some interesting scenarios.

Could you be frog-marched out of Tesco’s for having too many ‘Two for One’ offers in your shopping basket?

If you drive a ‘sensible’, low-emissions car rather than a monster gaz-guzzler, will a disembodied voice refuse to let you fill up on the Texaco forecourt?

Not making enough calls on your mobile? Well, perhaps you didn’t really have a social life anyway.

Egg’s approach to customer service is certainly novel – or is it?

Didn’t the whole credit crunch begin in the United States (Egg is now owned by US banking organisation Citigroup) when some wise guys decided there was more money to be made out of people who couldn’t really afford a mortgage but were gullible enough to believe the lenders’ ‘hard sell’?

Oh, and in case you wondered about Citigroup’s sub-prime losses – they currently stand at $28.1 billion.